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zerowing21
SarahTheGamerEmpress
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zerowing21
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zerowing21


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PostSubject: Firebid Boot   Firebid Boot - Page 68 Eo1pl7YSun Oct 19, 2014 7:36 am

First topic message reminder :

Well time for some serious boot camp. Please enter Firebid so we can begin
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AuthorMessage
Flame Melody
Administrator
Administrator
Flame Melody


Stella Brandon
Posts : 4857
Age : 2022
Location : 1313 Webfoot Walk, Duckberg
Hobbies : Scaring/Banning members c: - We'll fairy you!

Firebid Boot - Page 68 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Firebid Boot - Page 68 Eo1pl7YFri Feb 19, 2016 5:29 am

Okay, so your attempt wasn't bad, but it is lacking in effort. Please add in more details; try describing the environments and the battle scenes. Describe how the characters feel while doing some actions, as well. Nevertheless, expand on the dialogue; don't just place it in the end to fulfill the requirement. Make sure your dialogue is grammatically correct, decent, and isn't short.
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firebid1030
Sirenix Fairy
Sirenix Fairy
firebid1030


Bloom Sky
Posts : 15411
Age : 32
Location : aurora colorado
Hobbies : working , playing on computer/phone, watch television/youtube videos, hanging with friends and family,,going to the movies,sleeping

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PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Firebid Boot - Page 68 Eo1pl7YSat Feb 20, 2016 5:14 am

Alina wakes up early in the morning and turns off her alarm clock. She takes a shower and eats her breakfast in the morning and brushes her teeth before she goes to her first class which is potionlogy with professor Wizgiz. That morning, Alina went to her swimming class taught by Aisha. She heads to her nature class with her friend Francine. The next class is cooking class taught by her friend Brady. and she takes the class with Heather the ice witch. She heads to her simulator class before she eats lunch. In the afternoon, she eats her lunch with Fran and her other friends Brandy, Sophie, Heather, and Bethany because she never likes to eat alone since she hates doing that. Later in that day, she went to music class with her friend Marissa. She went to fashion class with her friend Sophie, even though Alina thinks the class is super boring. Finally, the last class for the day was Technology and Math class with her friend Trixie. Again, Alina doesn't like the class because that is one of her weaknesses. In the evening, Alina made dinner for her four roommates. Then she ate her dinner alone when they left and washed the dishes. Later in the evening, she listened to her music and did her homework she had from all her class. Before she went to bed, she brushed her teeth and put on her nightgown. Then she headed to bed after she was done with all her schoolwork and listened to her music until she got tired. Then she finally goes to sleep and Alina says goodnight to all her friends. Alina said goodnight to Fran, Alina said goodnight to Sophie, Alina said goodnight to Brandy, Alina said goodnight to Bethany, and Alina also said goodnight to Heather. When she is not at school you will find her at the mall with her friends Brandy, Francine, Heather, and Sophie or doing missions. Alina's battle cry is and always will be: "There is so much evil in the world that I can try my best to win the fight and must always stand besides my friends. Plus fight to death with all my might to protect them."

"Roses are red and violets are blue. I'm kicking a butt or two and I'm going to make a clown out of you." says Alina,angry fighting an Ogre.

"Flowers are pretty flowers are nice, you better not hurt any of them or you would think twice. Thank you and be nice." shouts Fran nicely while fighting another ogre.
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https://www.youtube.com/user/firebid1030?feature=mhee
Flame Melody
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Administrator
Flame Melody


Stella Brandon
Posts : 4857
Age : 2022
Location : 1313 Webfoot Walk, Duckberg
Hobbies : Scaring/Banning members c: - We'll fairy you!

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PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Firebid Boot - Page 68 Eo1pl7YSat Mar 19, 2016 2:47 am

Once again, try expanding on the battle scene. Attempt to describe the surroundings of the battle and maybe add the character's feelings while using spells and attacking.
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firebid1030
Sirenix Fairy
Sirenix Fairy
firebid1030


Bloom Sky
Posts : 15411
Age : 32
Location : aurora colorado
Hobbies : working , playing on computer/phone, watch television/youtube videos, hanging with friends and family,,going to the movies,sleeping

Firebid Boot - Page 68 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Firebid Boot - Page 68 Eo1pl7YSat Mar 19, 2016 3:44 am

Alina wakes up early in the morning and turns off her alarm clock. She takes a shower and eats her breakfast in the morning and brushes her teeth before she goes to her first class which is potionlogy with professor Wizgiz. That morning, Alina went to her swimming class taught by Aisha. She heads to her nature class with her friend Francine. The next class is cooking class taught by her friend Brady. and she takes the class with Heather the ice witch. She heads to her simulator class before she eats lunch. In the afternoon, she eats her lunch with Fran and her other friends Brandy, Sophie, Heather, and Bethany because she never likes to eat alone since she hates doing that. Later in that day, she went to music class with her friend Marissa. She went to fashion class with her friend Sophie, even though Alina thinks the class is super boring. Finally, the last class for the day was Technology and Math class with her friend Trixie. Again, Alina doesn't like the class because that is one of her weaknesses. In the evening, Alina made dinner for her four roommates. Then she ate her dinner alone when they left and washed the dishes. Later in the evening, she listened to her music and did her homework she had from all her class. Before she went to bed, she brushed her teeth and put on her nightgown. Then she headed to bed after she was done with all her schoolwork and listened to her music until she got tired. Then she finally goes to sleep and Alina says goodnight to all her friends. Alina said goodnight to Fran, Alina said goodnight to Sophie, Alina said goodnight to Brandy, Alina said goodnight to Bethany, and Alina also said goodnight to Heather. When she is not at school you will find her at the mall with her friends Brandy, Francine, Heather, and Sophie or doing missions. Alina's battle cry is and always will be: "There is so much evil in the world that I can try my best to win the fight and must always stand besides my friends. Plus fight to death with all my might to protect them."

"Roses are red and violets are blue. I'm kicking a butt or two and I'm going to make a clown out of you and alina uses her bubble burst attack on the trix's ogre who is after her" Alina says with a tired and furious voice.

"Flowers are pretty flowers are nice, you better not hurt any of them or you would think twice. Thank you and be nice also fran uses her vine whip attack on a the trix's after alina attacks their ogre" Fran says with a very mad voice
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https://www.youtube.com/user/firebid1030?feature=mhee
Flame Melody
Administrator
Administrator
Flame Melody


Stella Brandon
Posts : 4857
Age : 2022
Location : 1313 Webfoot Walk, Duckberg
Hobbies : Scaring/Banning members c: - We'll fairy you!

Firebid Boot - Page 68 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Firebid Boot - Page 68 Eo1pl7YSat Mar 19, 2016 4:30 am

What I meant is to describe the battle scene. Describe the surroundings, the battle field, the battle scene, the spells, and the environment. Try and describe how your OC feels while attacking, as well.
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firebid1030
Sirenix Fairy
Sirenix Fairy
firebid1030


Bloom Sky
Posts : 15411
Age : 32
Location : aurora colorado
Hobbies : working , playing on computer/phone, watch television/youtube videos, hanging with friends and family,,going to the movies,sleeping

Firebid Boot - Page 68 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Firebid Boot - Page 68 Eo1pl7YTue Apr 04, 2017 1:41 am

Alina wakes up early in the morning and turns off her alarm clock. She takes a shower and eats her breakfast in the morning and brushes her teeth before she goes to her first class which is potionlogy with Professor Wizgiz. That morning, Alina went to her swimming class taught by Aisha. She heads to her nature class with her friend Francine. The next class is cooking class taught by her friend Brady. and she takes the class with Heather the ice witch. She heads to her simulator class before she eats lunch. In the afternoon, she eats her lunch with Fran and her other friends Brandy, Sophie, Heather, and Bethany because she never likes to eat alone since she hates doing that. Later in that day, she went to music class with her friend Marissa. She went to fashion class with her friend Sophie, even though Alina thinks the class is super boring. Finally, the last class for the day was Technology and Math class with her friend Trixie. Again, Alina doesn't like the class because that is one of her weaknesses. In the evening, Alina made dinner for her four roommates. Then she ate her dinner alone when they left and washed the dishes. Later in the evening, she listened to her music and did her homework she had from all her class. Before she went to bed, she brushed her teeth and put on her nightgown. Afterwards, she headed to bed after she was done with all her schoolwork and listened to her music until she got tired. Then she finally goes to sleep and Alina says goodnight to all her friends. Alina said goodnight to Fran Alina said goodnight to Sophie Alina said goodnight to Brandy Alina said goodnight to Bethany, and Alina also said goodnight to Heather. When Alina is not at school you will find her at the mall with her friends Brandy, Francine, Heather, and Sophie or be doing a mission. Alina's battle cry is and always will be: "There is so much evil in the world that I can try my best to win the fight and must always stand beside my friends. Plus fight to the death with all my might to protect them."

"Roses are red and violets are blue. I'm kicking a butt or two and I'm going to make a clown out of you." Alina says with a tired and a furious voice and then uses her bubble burst attack on the Trix's ogre who is after her.

The battlefield is Domino castle with brandy's parents and the other girls and Alina feels angry about the ogre attacking her with snow because it's Domino because Alina accidentally used her powers to finding out who killed her family and the plants have died it's freezing cold, Alina's surrounds is ice and water a lot of water we mean a lot.

"Flowers are pretty flowers are nice, you better not hurt any of them or you would think twice. Thank you and be nice" also Fran uses her vine whip attack on the Trix's after Alina attacks their ogre Fran says with a very mad voice

The battlefield for Fran is Solaria where one of the Trix's kids is attacking her with their storm attack, Fran's feelings are that she is really really mad that she and Alina are not on the same mission with each other, her surroundings is trees and plants, environments is hot and disgusting.
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https://www.youtube.com/user/firebid1030?feature=mhee
Flame Melody
Administrator
Administrator
Flame Melody


Stella Brandon
Posts : 4857
Age : 2022
Location : 1313 Webfoot Walk, Duckberg
Hobbies : Scaring/Banning members c: - We'll fairy you!

Firebid Boot - Page 68 Empty
PostSubject: Re: Firebid Boot   Firebid Boot - Page 68 Eo1pl7YSun Apr 09, 2017 2:43 am

It took some time for me to do some analysis for the overall progress up to this point but I'm glad to say, you've graduated this boot camp! Congratulations, Firebid! You've passed the boot camp and can finally resume role-playing!

However, I must warn you now: if you return to the rp and revert back to your old ways, you will not return to this bootcamp for training. Instead, you will be banned from the rp altogether. You have been given quite a handful of chances to shape up, and you have used them all. Harness what you have learned while here in bootcamp and apply it in the rp, and you will be fine. Ignore what you have learned, and you will not be allowed back into the rp.
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