Firebid Boot

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

First topic message reminder :

Well time for some serious boot camp. Please enter Firebid so we can begin

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Wed Dec 03, 2014 3:32 am

"I can get that fire started for you We need food,water,a lot of space for camping We need somewhere to see the stars I used to live in the workshop myself"Charma tells the girls and listing off things they need for camping.

(oh oops I double posted that was a no no)

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

((Sorry, but you have failed. The piece was under your nose the WHOLE time, and you even altered that piece to yourself. She didn't live in herself, and her bio didn't state that she was in a room which she can see the stars.

I was looking to be as close as this:

"Lets get this started! We need a lot of wood, as well as food, water and a lot of space to camping." Charma told both girls, "Plus we need somewhere to see the stars too."

I'm afraid we have to keep you in for a while longer. You were so close too!))

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

(James, when she said add on, she meant extra information that wasn't relevant to what was being talked about. It was easy to tell that living in the workshop was such a piece of information that didn't make sense for it being there.)

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:08 am

(oh okay that is fine let's just try another one and this time I hope to get it and I will this time because I will pay close attention at it but first I want to post my parts)

" I can get the wood for us" Fran asks gladly.

" I can get the water, plus I can make it sparkling water with my bubble powers I guess Alina tells Charma with glee, not sure about the sparkling water part.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

((you will get another chance later when I believe that you are ready. And GRAMMAR!!))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:42 am

"I can get the wood for us" Fran asks Charma gladly.

"I can get the water plus I can make it sparkling water with my bubble powers I guess"Alina tells Charma with glee,not sure about the sparkling water part.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

((I think you can see what is missing with the grammar))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Wed Dec 03, 2014 4:55 am

"I can get the wood for us! " Fran asks Charma gladly.

"I can get the water for us plus I can make it sparkling water with my bubble powers I guess"Alina tells Charma with glee! , not sure about the sparkling water part.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

((Now you misplaced a space. Try again.))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Wed Dec 03, 2014 11:09 pm

"I can get the wood for us!" Fran asks Charma gladly.

"I can get the water for us plus I can make it sparkling water with my bubble powers I guess"Alina tells Charma with glee!, not sure about the sparkling water part.

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