Firebid Boot

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

First topic message reminder :

Well time for some serious boot camp. Please enter Firebid so we can begin

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

((something to do with combinding them....))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Mon Dec 01, 2014 8:45 am

(oh you wanted me to combined all three of those sentences oh okay i don't know that)

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

((But I did said something about it before. So, after reviewing all of that, I think you should give it another go. Put your revision into practice:

"Oh ,i can getthat started," Charma says.
"Oh, we need a lot of it too,as well and food,water and alot of space to campin"Charma says.
"Oh,we need somewhere to seethe stars i usedto live in the palace myself"charma says.

Remember to take your time, and don't rush.))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Mon Dec 01, 2014 8:58 am

"Oh, I can get that started we need a lot of food and water and a lot of space for camping we need somewhere to see the stars I used to live in the palace myself" Charma listing off things they needed for camping.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

((Almost! Here is a hint. Does Charma really live in a palace? Go to her Oc Sheet just to make sure. And you are overusing another word which should be replaced with grammar, plus you need to take one word out))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:10 am

"I can get that started for you we need a lot of food and water, a lot of space for camping we"ll need somewhere to see the stars I used to live in the workshop myself" Charma listing off things they needed for camping.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

((All I can say that there is add on somewhere, and you need to fix up a piece of grammar.))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:42 am

I can get that started for you we need a lot of food and water, a lot of space for camping we"ll need a shelter to see the stars I used to live in the workshop myself" Charma listing off things they needed for camping.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

((That is just a repeat, minus an " So add that in, and look carefully.))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Mon Dec 01, 2014 11:55 pm

"I can get that started for you I need food and water, a lot of space for camping we need an shelter to see the stars I used to live in the workshop myself" Charma listing off things they needed for camping.

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