Firebid Boot

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

First topic message reminder :

Well time for some serious boot camp. Please enter Firebid so we can begin

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Sat Nov 29, 2014 11:45 pm

"Of course I love camping! It's fun, and exciting you get to see flowers" Fran exclaims excited.

"Yeah I totally love camping, I camped when i was a little girl" Alina explains to Charma.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 33 Location : New Zealand

"Right, its settled then!" Charma said with glee, "We're having a camp out!"

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Sat Nov 29, 2014 11:59 pm

"Yay so should someone get firewood,right" Fran exclaims to both of the girls.

"Yeah and someone should get fish to eat,right" Alina exclaims to both girls as well.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 33 Location : New Zealand

((spaces and question marks))

"Oh ,i can getthat started," Charma says.
"Oh, we need a lot of it too,as well and food,water and alot of space to campin"Charma says.
"Oh,we need somewhere to seethe stars i usedto live in the palace myself"charma says.

Charma: *blinks* Um....that doesn't look right. *sweatdrops* James isn't it? Can you fix this to show what you have learnt so far? Remember, grammar, exposition, changing the overused words, and change what else that needs to make this perfect. You can check my bio out if you need to to double check something. Don't forget to Slow Down, Think, then Post. You have a LOT of time to get this right so take your time. Thank you!!

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Sun Nov 30, 2014 12:45 am

"Yay so should someone get firewood right ?" Fran exclaims to both of the girls.

"Yeah and someone should get fish to eat right ?" Alina exclaims to both girls as well.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 33 Location : New Zealand

((OI!!! I have set you a task above! It's up to YOU to fix it. PAY ATTENTION!! I do not want to be grumpy at you.))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Sun Nov 30, 2014 9:50 am

"Oh, I can get that started" Charma tells Fran and Alina.

"We need a lot of it too as well and food, water and alot of space to camping"Charma exclaims to Fran and Alina.

"We need somewhere to see the stars I used to live in the palace myself"Charma explains to Fran and Alina.

(There you go much better right)

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 33 Location : New Zealand

((That is close, but that's not what I am looking for. You haven't demonstrated about what I have recently told you and something else that I taught you earlier. Remember to take your TIME!!! Plus you didn't take out one word.))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Sun Nov 30, 2014 11:47 pm

"I can get that started" Charma tells Fran and Alina.

"We need a lot of it too as well and food, water and alot of space to camping"Charma exclaims to Fran and Alina.

"We need somewhere to see the stars I used to live in the palace myself"Charma explains to Fran and Alina.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 33 Location : New Zealand

((I'm still not going to pass you until you demonstrated something that I taught you earlier.))

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