I feel like an outsider.

Subject: I feel like an outsider. Thu Apr 04, 2013 8:02 pm

Ok, so in real life, I'm not exactly a social butterfly. Everywhere I go, I'm known as the quiet person. Especially at school with my classmates. As a result, my life is tough for me because people look at you and treat you differently when you're shy. I can decide to say something one moment and then people will go "SHE TALKS??!!!". It annoys me. My shyness is partly due to the bullying I experienced when I was younger and my low self-esteem and such. I have little to no friends and the real actual friends I have had in total are only a couple. Most of the people in my class are only my acquaintances. I might be friendly with them but it doesn't get any better than that. It doesn't help that I am socially awkward, I'm clumsy, and I am scared everyday when I walk through the hallways. I can't even talk to people without them thinking I'm weird, like I could say something that's not even remotely offensive and then the people I'm with will just glare at each other like I'm a fool. This has caused me to internalize my feelings because I don't want to look or say something bad. Whenever I even try to be social, it just backfires on me. I'm a really smart person too, but despite my academic achievements, there hasn't been a day when I haven't gone home depressed and stressed about my social status. In fact I am constantly worried and stressed out about how I am perceived by other people. People see me as a smart and gifted person too but I guess they only care about me when I can use intelligence to help them in class, such as when we're reviewing things or tests or playing review games and you get prizes at the end.

I always have trouble especially with group work, not just in school, but primarily because no one will naturally come up to me and ask me to be their partner. I would have to hunt for one on my own and many times I would have no luck because one group would be full and then another one would be full. I always have to ask can I join someone's group and I never liked working with the same people in a row because I don't think people think I'm cool enough in the first place and I get worried that they might get tired of me. I'm such a quiet person that no knows I'm there. Once in a while, people will come to me and try to be friendly, and I'm a nice person and don't want to push them away but I get mad because I feel as if they're doing this just out of pity, not because they want to hang out with me and I don't want to be in that position. This happened to me a while ago and some girls saw me sitting alone and started talking to me but I didn't want them to feel like they were looking after me. One of the girls only "befriended" me because one of the adults told them. I don't want people to think I'm anti-social. I'm not, I just lack the skills to actually interact with people. It's so bad that really the only real friends I have had have either disappeared or forgotten about me, or they are online here. I feel comfortable talking to some of you guys but I resent having to go out into the real world. I'm older now and it's easier for me to socialize with other people but it's still really bad. I know this was long but I just wanted to say how I feel. Hopefully, I didn't scare anyone.

Subject: Re: I feel like an outsider. Thu Apr 04, 2013 8:22 pm

NATURE KICK

SIRENIX★
YOU'RE THE
INSPIRATION

★THE POWER OF THE
SEAS INSIDE OF YOU

dare to open your mouth and say how you feel.

thats the most basic and useful advice you can get right now.
i see how you can be in the chatbox sometimes and you dont seem to be shy there at all
so if you can do it online, you can also do it in real life.

also, feeling bad for yourself is not gonna help you in any way. not sure if you ever do feel bad for yourself cause you are in this situation but take it from someone with more life experience
(not saying i know everything :roll: )

as a teacher once told me and my classmates.....
''you only get bullied if you want to be bullied''

i know that sounds strange at first but take it in and look deeper

Subject: Re: I feel like an outsider. Thu Apr 04, 2013 8:26 pm

DI ZIO wrote:

NATURE KICK

SIRENIX★
YOU'RE THE
INSPIRATION

★THE POWER OF THE
SEAS INSIDE OF YOU

dare to open your mouth and say how you feel.

thats the most basic and useful advice you can get right now.
i see how you can be in the chatbox sometimes and you dont seem to be shy there at all
so if you can do it online, you can also do it in real life.

also, feeling bad for yourself is not gonna help you in any way. not sure if you ever do feel bad for yourself cause you are in this situation but take it from someone with more life experience
(not saying i know everything :roll: )

as a teacher once told me and my classmates.....
''you only get bullied if you want to be bullied''

i know that sounds strange at first but take it in and look deeper

Thanks DI ZIO! Yeah I know how I'm definitely not shy on the chat, but I guess it's easier when I don't have to look in someone's face. But I'll take your advice to heart.

Subject: Re: I feel like an outsider. Thu Apr 04, 2013 8:33 pm

MaryKateGirl17 wrote:: but I guess it's easier when I don't have to look in someone's face. .[/color]

NATURE KICK

SIRENIX★
YOU'RE THE
INSPIRATION

★THE POWER OF THE
SEAS INSIDE OF YOU

exactly. that is true

overcome that weakness , which many people have, you are not the only one
(pointing at the fact millions of other kids are online daily acting totally different than what they show to be in real life)

overcome, OVERCOME IT NOW
JUST OPEN THAT D MOUTH OF YOURS AND SPEAK THE TRUTH, THE TRUTH THAT COMES FROM WITHIN YOU. dare it

Subject: Re: I feel like an outsider. Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:26 pm

Aww Marykate.. You know by posting this.. You're taking a step forward.. And every step you do.. Every action and words you say will increase those steps or decrease them.. Those steps.. The steps that are creating you.. Making you who you are meant to be and it won't stop.. It won't stop till you succeed.. Succeed in achieving find out who you are and your purpose in life!

I myself have been in this situation.. Still are stuck in the same situation.. But this year it's getting better.. Or let me rephrase that "But this year it was getting better" Till she came and i'm currently struggling in a fight for friendship and trust and i'm getting betrayed.. Led me to deactivate my Facebook and i'm questioning whether to actually reactivate it or not.. It seems useless to! So you know.. Life isn't how we want it.. But we could use our past to plan it.. Learn from it.. And achieve what we deserve.. It's about how much you give in life.. Life will give you twice as more depending on the good deeds and the bad traits you do and have!

I'm proud of you and well I was hoping that you could have told me before so I could have helped you a bit early. Haha.

So to help you on getting socialized you should first of all stay in your comfort zone but it isn't bad to push it a bit.. only a bit further and well start talking to your classmates.. Humor always strikes the first sign of friendship! Make them feel comfortable towards you! Be natural but not off guard you know? Always stay true to yourself and body! Self confidence and esteem are built by how we feel about ourselves and after we feel good about ourselves we see how people feel about us... That doesn't mean you use your fingers to lose some pounds.. Or give up you favourite food for a diet! Very Happy

It means that stick to your most comfortable style and stay healthy.. Try to cooperate with a few people and then try to cooperate with more people and more until you reach somewhere where you start feeling good and comfortable! (If i got a million dollar for everytime i say comfortable or comfort.. I might be the richest person humanity ever meets Ahaha Very Happy

) Don't let them push you into trying things you aren't used to.. I don't mean trying new things is bad.. I mean that stay to your limits and a bit further won't harm but if you cross your comfort zone and style and limits by far.. You'll lose it again and everything will come crashing down. (Trust me it happened to me and I had to start all over.. But it was worth it. Smile

) So just try from the bottom and rise up to the top and everything will turn out fine and you'll be loved! <3 Good luck in your life Mary-Kate and never hesitate to come to me or anyone if something is wrong okay? Lots of love!

And I wish you a happy life! Very Happy

Start safe and finish dangerously. Wink

Subject: Re: I feel like an outsider. Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:34 pm

SarahTheGirlieGamer wrote:: Aww Marykate.. You know by posting this.. You're taking a step forward.. And every step you do.. Every action and words you say will increase those steps or decrease them.. Those steps.. The steps that are creating you.. Making you who you are meant to be and it won't stop.. It won't stop till you succeed.. Succeed in achieving find out who you are and your purpose in life!

I myself have been in this situation.. Still are stuck in the same situation.. But this year it's getting better.. Or let me rephrase that "But this year it was getting better" Till she came and i'm currently struggling in a fight for friendship and trust and i'm getting betrayed.. Led me to deactivate my Facebook and i'm questioning whether to actually reactivate it or not.. It seems useless to! So you know.. Life isn't how we want it.. But we could use our past to plan it.. Learn from it.. And achieve what we deserve.. It's about how much you give in life.. Life will give you twice as more depending on the good deeds and the bad traits you do and have!

I'm proud of you and well I was hoping that you could have told me before so I could have helped you a bit early. Haha.

So to help you on getting socialized you should first of all stay in your comfort zone but it isn't bad to push it a bit.. only a bit further and well start talking to your classmates.. Humor always strikes the first sign of friendship! Make them feel comfortable towards you! Be natural but not off guard you know? Always stay true to yourself and body! Self confidence and esteem are built by how we feel about ourselves and after we feel good about ourselves we see how people feel about us... That doesn't mean you use your fingers to lose some pounds.. Or give up you favourite food for a diet! It means that stick to your most comfortable style and stay healthy.. Try to cooperate with a few people and then try to cooperate with more people and more until you reach somewhere where you start feeling good and comfortable! (If i got a million dollar for everytime i say comfortable or comfort.. I might be the richest person humanity ever meets Ahaha ) Don't let them push you into trying things you aren't used to.. I don't mean trying new things is bad.. I mean that stay to your limits and a bit further won't harm but if you cross your comfort zone and style and limits by far.. You'll lose it again and everything will come crashing down. (Trust me it happened to me and I had to start all over.. But it was worth it. ) So just try from the bottom and rise up to the top and everything will turn out fine and you'll be loved! <3 Good luck in your life Mary-Kate and never hesitate to come to me or anyone if something is wrong okay? Lots of love! And I wish you a happy life! Start safe and finish dangerously.

Aww thanks Sarah. It's nice to feel the love. I'm glad you understand how I feel. It's tough being the odd one out. I will try that, thanks.

Subject: Re: I feel like an outsider. Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:36 pm

It's like I'm reading a diary entry or something. Look, I'm not a popular girl either. No one likes me because, well I'm on the chubby side, I'm not athletic at all, my grades (except for Science and Literacy) are really average. I'm an average person who no one will take the time to talk too because I'm so quiet and wallflower-ish. I, however am extremely lucky because I have a few friends that actually like me. You are an awesome person MK, ,you are absolutely amazing, and funny, and really, really nice. You'll grow out of the awkward stage soon enough, and everyone will realize how cool you really are Smile

Subject: Re: I feel like an outsider. Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:44 pm

Awesomesauce wrote:: It's like I'm reading a diary entry or something. Look, I'm not a popular girl either. No one likes me because, well I'm on the chubby side, I'm not athletic at all, my grades (except for Science and Literacy) are really average. I'm an average person who no one will take the time to talk too because I'm so quiet and wallflower-ish. I, however am extremely lucky because I have a few friends that actually like me. You are an awesome person MK, ,you are absolutely amazing, and funny, and really, really nice. You'll grow out of the awkward stage soon enough, and everyone will realize how cool you really are

Thanks Anya. Lol @ the diary entry part. Yeah it was a little personal but I really wanted to express my feelings.

Subject: Re: I feel like an outsider. Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:52 pm

I know what you mean, i used to be a self-centered brat, and this year i tried being nice so i dont talk much, but mary instead of waiting for them to come to me, i went to them, and it turned out fine, but you should always try to talk to more people, let them get to know you and you get to know them, try to make funny jokes like you do here on the chat, i mean, im not popular but doing that got more people to like me

Subject: Re: I feel like an outsider. Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:57 pm

NaomiWinx83 wrote:: I know what you mean, i used to be a self-centered brat, and this year i tried being nice so i dont talk much, but mary instead of waiting for them to come to me, i went to them, and it turned out fine, but you should always try to talk to more people, let them get to know you and you get to know them, try to make funny jokes like you do here on the chat, i mean, im not popular but doing that got more people to like me

I mean yeah you're right, I should open up a bit more, it's just hard you know. I always feel as if people might judge me and stuff. I've tried this before and stuff, it just backfires because people get creeped out O.o. anyways, making funny jokes at least helps me to start conversations so it helps a little.

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