Firebid Boot

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

First topic message reminder :

Well time for some serious boot camp. Please enter Firebid so we can begin

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Sun Nov 23, 2014 10:39 am

"My name is Francine but people call me Fran for short, and I'm from Lynphea I have the power of Flowers nice to meet you " Fran says with a smile back.

"Oh, hi my name is argg... mmm... ah (Alina) ! and I have the power of Bubbles , You already know I'm from Andros but I'm half dark fairy because if an evil man who killed my animal friends " Alina says shyly hiding behind Fran,waving hi to Charma with tears in her eyes.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 33 Location : New Zealand

((This time, re-read and fix the mistakes you spot. It's part of being an rper to spot your mistakes before someone else does. Remember, slow down, think, then reply.))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Sun Nov 23, 2014 11:58 pm

"My name is Francine but people call me Fran for short, and I'm from Lynphea I have the power of Flowers nice to meet you " Fran says with a smile back.

"Oh, hi my name is argg... mmm... ah Alina ! " And I have the power of Bubbles , You already know I'm from Andros but I'm half dark fairy because if an evil man who killed my animal friends " Alina says shyly hiding behind Fran,waving hi to Charma with teardrops running down her cheek.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 33 Location : New Zealand

((Ok, let me show you the answer.

"My name is Francine but people call me Fran for short, and I'm from Lynphea. I have the power of Flowers. Nice to meet you," Fran says with a smile back.

"Oh, hi my name is...argg...mmm...ah! Alina! I have the power of Bubbles. You already know I'm from Andros but I'm half dark fairy because if an evil man who killed my animal friends" Alina says shyly hiding behind Fran,waving hi to Charma with teardrops running down her cheek.

You were so close that time and for that we will continue. Remember how this has been laid out because it could help you later on. This layout it really important for the recommendation for forum roleplay.))

"Nice! My powers is Charms, but my parents wants me to focus on two of the gems since they have some kind of connection to my power," Charma said, "Are you ready to go to Lake Rocoluche?"

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Mon Nov 24, 2014 4:35 am

" Wait Lake Rocoluche that is where bloom meet her sister when she come to Alfea?" Fran replied shocked.

" Wow Fran your smart and everyone knows that story right Charma" Alina replied jokely.

" Oh and nice power Charma" Fran adds on.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 33 Location : New Zealand

((Question, if the pair isn't at Alfea as students, then how did they know about Bloom and Daphne?
And capital for Bloom, and it's asked in shock, not replied shocked. Get rid of the spaces after the first ".))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Mon Nov 24, 2014 2:21 pm

"Wait Lake Rocoluche what is that place?" Fran asked in shocked.

" Yeah what is this lake rocluche place you speak of?" Alina asked agreeing in shock.

" Oh and nice power Charma" Fran adds on.

(Oh between i might have want off topic)

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 33 Location : New Zealand

((*tilts head in confusion* You still haven't removed all the spaces after ", the second part of the second sentance doesn't make sense, and in the first sentance, there should be a ? after Rocoluche and a capital letter after that))

Subject: Re: Firebid Boot Mon Nov 24, 2014 10:53 pm

"Wait Lake Rocoluchea what is that place?" Fran asked in shocked.

"Yeah what is this lake rocluchea place you speak of?" Alina asked agreeing in shock.

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 33 Location : New Zealand

((It's Lake Rocoluche. Now since we sorted out the spaces, it's shock, not shocked, and instead 'asked agreeing in shock.', it's should be 'agreed with Fran for what she is saying.' to make more sense))

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