Zero of Zafarious

Subject: Zero of Zafarious Fri Jul 25, 2014 2:42 pm

First topic message reminder :

Name: Zero
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Creature: Specialists
Race: Zafarious
Power: None
Allegiance: Neutral

Weapon: Crossbow

Strength:

Photographic Memory: Zero is able to recall any event from before his memories where wiped away from him. Other then this he can repeat back any scene from an 1 movie or any lecture in class.

Computer Wiz-Zero is extremly good with computers he can take an entire computer apart and reasemble it back to it's original shape. He can also turn computer parts even broken ones into a new object.

Good With Heights: Zero is extremly good with heights no matter how tall. He was born with natural good climbing talents due to hanging out with his older cousins who where often into wilderness classes.

Weaknesses:
Fire: He doesn't know why but when ever he sees even the tinest flame he goes crazy. He is just afraid of being burned by flames.

Bad Eyesight: Zero has terrible eyesight especially when the sunlight is strong.

Hydrophobia: One afternoon while playing with his sister at the lake he slipped in to the water and almost drowned leaving him with a fear of water for the rest of his life.

Uniform: Zero's uniform is the basic season 1 uniform that the specialists wear. He has the basic blue cape as well as a purple clasp.

Apperance: Zero is a sandy brown haired boy with deep brown eyes. He has fair skin and is very musclar. His height it 6'3 and his weight is 209 lbs. He wears a blue shirt with white stripped lines as well as blue jeans and black square glasses. He also has a pair of sunglasses that he wears on the most sunniest of days. His shoes are red and white and have black laces on them.

Personality: Due to his sibilings betraying during the test Zero has an extreme mistrust of people. He is very studious and loves to learn new things. However, at times when he is in a really good mood every now and again Zero will crack a smile. Even though he can be a loner at times but when he is out with a good friend or someone forces him to go outside after being stuck in the house all day Zero loves to go outside in the fresh air. Zero is also very curious about the world around him especially things that relate to the enviornment. He can also be very shy when he meets new people but over time he opens up to them. If something doesn't go Zero's way he will stand up and fight for what he believe's in. He also can explode easily and misinterprets what some people say. But at the end of the day Zero is a bright and caring person.

Back Story:
Even though Red Fountain was Zero's very last choice in all of the magic schools of Magix his first school choice was actually Zaltora the school for wizards. Born a Wizards and fairy's son magic ran through Zero's family blood. His mother, father, and even sister had the blood of magic inside them...except he was born without magic. This caused a great strain in the family due to the heir of the family must be a first born magic user. So due to his lack of magic Zero's cousin was forced to take his place.

Due to the fact that he was a non-magic user Zero was constantly disregarded and compared to his sister and brother and was often left out. Due to him being left out he was able to focus more on improving his basic survial skills such as hunting, cooking, climbing, and swimming. He even spent plenty of time in the kitchen with his mother creating a little more bonding time between the two.

In a tradition in Zero's city at the age of 14 when a child is ready to attend High School in Zafarious they are able to choose which school they go to...by passing a test created by the Elders of the city. Zero attempted to train with his cousin and sister but they shunned them out of their training sessions leaving him to train alone for 2 months by himself. On testing day he learned that he must work together with his cousin and sister in order to pass the test much to the other two's dismay.

During the test it begins to rain extremly hard as they climb the mountain (which the Elders where very impressed by his climbing skills). As he begins to help the other two on the next ledge a monster appears (not created by the Elders) which catches them off guard. As Zero attempts to draw his sword his cousin steals his sword and his sister pushes him off the ledge. Luckily the bushes from below manage to break Zero's fall however, the elders did not see the betrayal and failed the test. However, before the monster appeared he managed to impress some of the elders with his previous skills such as climbing and his impressive photographic memory so they choose the school of specalists Red Fountain for him to attend.

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

First move, he shouldn't be able to do it every 4 to 5 minutes. Once you use a high spell your tired and it takes awhile for magic energy to recover.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Thu Dec 11, 2014 6:56 pm

Done.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Fri Dec 12, 2014 2:43 am

TheWonderer wrote:: Origins: Zafarious

1) Zafarious belongs under the category Race.

2) You should have one of the following for Origins: Human, Magic User, or Alien.

Quote :: Power: Metal

Metal what?

Quote :: Allegiance: Good and Bad

So neutral?

Quote :: Lance Strike-Lance strike is a quick and easy power that Zero is able to use even while the lance is still regenerates it's power but again does take some power out of him. With Lance Strike a illuminating glow casts out of his lance and drains another magic user's power by 10%.

How does this relate to Metal Manipulation? I don't see anything related to metal-anything in it.

Quote :: Negate-Negate is a new power Zero has learned out of a magical textbook found in one of the libraries of Magix. With negate he doesn't need a physical shield as it is a glow bubble that surrounds him for 2 minuets blocking all attacks that come his way. However, some Earth attacks may end up being able to cancel the attack as the shield it's self is made up of metal particles.

How does this relate to Metal Manipulation? I don't see anything related to metal-anything in it.

Quote :: Caring For Animals: Even though zero can be heartless at some times he does have a passion for animals and loves cats especially! He is also able to communicate with animals through his psyhic powers.

1) What? How is this a strength?

2) What psychic powers? Last I checked this OC was Metal Manipulation only. Where did this psychic power suddenly come from?

Quote :: Love Of The Earth: ..... His powers are stronger when he is outdoors then indoors.

Remove all of the filler junk prior to this sentence and you'll be good on this strength.

Quote :: Cooking [yes cooking]: He's been surrounded by women all of his life who cooked and clean for him therefore, he didn't find it necessary to cook until he started living on his own.

1) Unless he's living in the woods, this weakness is useless.

2) Is he still unable to cook or has he learned? Your last sentence implies that he has.

Quote :: Due to his parents almost giving him up

Did they or did they not give him up? You say he was abandoned, but here you say they almost did.

Quote :: even though his element his Earth he hates the outdoors.

I thought he manipulated metal.

Quote :: Due to not having a woman figure in his life

Quote :: He's been surrounded by women all of his life

So he's been surrounded by women but not surrounded by women? Or do you mean he was surrounded by women but he wasn't surrounded by a mother figure.

Add some more to the personality. Negative or positive is up to you, but it's still lacking some detail on who this character is.

Quote :: Over the years as he was developing his power he began to show more unique ablities such as photo graphic memory and high speed

What? When did he develop high speed? And also, high speed what? Like super fast runner or neurons firing faster? This is the first and only time you've mentioned this high speed thing; did you forget to develop it earlier in the character or were you attempting to sneak it in?[/quote]

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Fri Dec 12, 2014 2:48 am

He was orginally an Alexandrite Wizard FYI but I changed his power. His powers are the only thing I am changing his backstory is staying.
2. Metal comes from the Earth.
3. His lance is his power source which helps him manipulate metal.

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

Metal does get dug up from the earth, but it is not made of earth. It is something else. So you can not claim earth powers Lauren. The power is metal manipulation. If kyra is saying to make the changes, then you make the changes. You opened this can of worm up to a full review not just powers when you changed the powers.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Fri Dec 12, 2014 3:03 am

TheWonderer wrote:: He was orginally an Alexandrite Wizard FYI but I changed his power. His powers are the only thing I am changing his backstory is staying.

And him being Alexandrite means what exactly to me? The pointer on my care meter didn't even flinch.

I am not judging Alexandrite; I am judging Zero. Anything prior about Alexandrite is irrelevant to Zero. If you wanted his history, then change his name back to Alexandrite, because as far as I and the rest of the RP Mods are concerned, Alexandrite and Zero are two separate people.

Changing his powers and then expecting me to simply accept him because you're not going to change his history to match this character isn't happening.

Quote :: 2. Metal comes from the Earth.

Wrong. Minerals come from the Earth. Please consult here for information on metal.

If you want an Earth OC, make an Earth OC. Don't give me an Earth OC wrapped in Metal Manipulation paper.

Quote :: 3. His lance is his power source which helps him manipulate metal.

And it also drains another user's power. Metal Manipulation spells do not do that. So again I ask, how does that spell tie in with this oc's power?

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Fri Dec 12, 2014 3:09 am

No what I meant to say is that his powers where originally Alexzandrite not his name.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Fri Dec 12, 2014 3:13 am

TheWonderer wrote:: No what I meant to say is that his powers where originally Alexzandrite not his name.

So again I ask, why do I care? What does that have to do with him now? That was then. This is now. And right now, it says he is a metal manipulation wizard, so that is what I am judging. So if he's a metal manipulation user, all accounts of Alexzandrite should be removed.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Fri Dec 12, 2014 3:28 am

Honestly I am having trouble coming up with powers for Zero. Usually it would be a piece of cake coming up with an OC like on Deviantart but I'm having trouble picking powers that would fit into the forum's guidelines. I originally wanted him to be an Amethyst wizard but you guys shot that power down real quick so I was stuck with Alexzandrite. I came up with some lame powers and when I went into bootcamp his powers where weak and he couldn't get pass the third page of bootcamp. I am honestly getting frustrated and annoyed by this and wish choosing powers was easier.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Fri Dec 12, 2014 3:37 am

TheWonderer wrote:: Honestly I am having trouble coming up with powers for Zero. Usually it would be a piece of cake coming up with an OC like on Deviantart but I'm having trouble picking powers that would fit into the forum's guidelines. I originally wanted him to be an Amethyst wizard but you guys shot that power down real quick so I was stuck with Alexzandrite. I came up with some lame powers and when I went into bootcamp his powers where weak and he couldn't get pass the third page of bootcamp. I am honestly getting frustrated and annoyed by this and wish choosing powers was easier.

If you were having problems then you should have pulled a mod aside and asked for tips and help. We're not forbidden from helping you guys make powers and spells; we want to help you make an OC so that you can RP.

Take a break from this OC. Figure out what sort of power you'd like him to have. Then, go and ask a mod in PM or go to the testing grounds and try out as many powers as you can until you find one that just clicks.