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been a while since I've logged into this account. figured I need to vent over the last things that have been happening in my life right now. you would think a royal would be able to cope with bad news and heartbreak but just my luck that I'd let my heart get shattered the moment I learn to be a better kinder person. guess it's karma for my past behaviour of being a stuck up rude princess huh? maybe I should've done things differently.

maybe if I was a nicer sister roxas would still be here. after all, is it selfish of me to prefer my own sibling over a extinct kingdom that died out due to a conflict eons ago that we were not there to witness? was it fair to let roxas be killed when he had no part of the conflict and was just a wizard cursed with so called unholy magic. maybe if i was nicer, maybe if father didn't cower at the moonbow's power roxas wouldn't have felt so isolated and alone, maybe prism would've been different, and maybe he wouldn't have had to sacrifice himself.

maybe I'm over thinking things but how can I not? my brother is dead due to the moon kingdom, am I allowed to be sad? am I allowed to show resentment towards the moon? am I allowed to be angry wit myself for choosing some girl who didn't really care about me over my own family? my brother? i should've stood by him instead of picking her.

I'm just a selfish Idiot. no wonder my kingdoms never acknowledged, we caused this. our history is built upon genoside and death, and we're responsible for fixing that. If anyone should've had this cross to bear it should've been me. not roxas.

god know's what happened to nokomis, She's long gone out my life and honestly. for the better. that relationship was a mistake. I still cannot tell what happened but she changed. ever since she was resurrected the girl I knew and loved was gone, Her selfishness and indiference to anything that wasn't about herself was so apparent, makes me wonder why I even bothered with her to begin with. she never respected me, hell I don't even know if she loved me, was I just a princess who could boost her image? was she only dating me in order to get the moon restored? she knew roxas was my brother so what if this whole time she was hoping roxas would die ??? she lied about the moon to miyuki and claimed to be the heir to the throne and even wanted me to rule with her so anything's possible at this point tbh...

#vent. #personal. #ThatFeelingWhenYourExIsHappyYourBrotherLiterallyDiedCauseOfYou.