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 Suki Amnell, witch of poisons

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zerowing21
musa225
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musa225
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PostSubject: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YThu Jan 08, 2015 3:19 pm

First topic message reminder :

Name: Suki Amnell

Age: 16

Gender: Female

What Creature Are you?: Witch

Allegiance: Neutral

Origins: Magic User

Powers: Poison.

Spells: Telox-A medium spell, A teleportation spell that teleports her up to a half hour away/15 miles.

         Toxosity- A medium spell, Toxic partials curse that blinds the opponent for 30 seconds.

        Gas Shield- A medium gas cloud that acts like a defense shield, it can last up to two minutes and can take up to 3 hits

        Poisoned Air- A low spell, toxins poison the air around the opponent and makes them nauseated for 30 seconds to a minute.

       Vapors of Chemistry- A medium spell, a toxic cloud that she can throw at an opponent and it knocks then off balance.

      Tetrodotoxin- A high level curse that makes the target paralyzed for one and a half minutes with no damage.
 
Appearance: Pale skin, Dark long hair with red highlights and, pale icy blue eyes, A tattoo on her left shoulder blade of the Bio hazard symbol, likes to wear a lot of dark colors.

Strengths: Chemistry, Botany (they are strengths because they go with her powers), quick thinker, and is very good at being a peace keeper.

Weaknesses: There needs to be some toxics around her for her to manipulate, has a fear of water (being around ponds, lakes, ocean giver her anxiety which in turn weakens her powers) and, Public Speaking.

Personality: Suki is a introvert so she is very careful with her words, she always think a before she speaks.  She normally ends up being the peace keeper when an argument happens. When it comes to issues concerning her family or friends she will try her best to help them find middle ground. She doesn't get involved in arguments with or about faries.  Because she likes to keep the peace she doesn't always voice her opinion as often as she should and this can lead to miscomputation. She cares very deeply for her family and friends that she calls family. Because she cares so deeply for family she is capable of doing anything and everything to save them, even if it means going totally dark side, aka aggressive, mom bear type attitude. Especially when it comes to her younger siblings, because she is closer to them. This can cloud her judgment if one of them is in trouble. Meeting new people is something that is uncomfortable so she can be a bit of a wall flower at parties  

History: Suki spent most of her life on Lynphea.  Her father is a wizard and her mother is a witch, she is also the forth of seven siblings.  Samuel(22), Mike(20), Todd(19), Suki(16), Han(14), Jarrett(12) and Jason(11). Suki has never learned how to swim and because of that she almost drowned when she was 10.  Suki was the peacekeeper with her siblings and has always disliked when people that she cares about don't get along. Suki was the child that got into trouble the least, which is surprising because the middle child is normally the one to get into trouble the most.  Being the only daughter Suki was taught things that most people would call "women's work".  Suki's mother had always wanted her Suki to go to Cloud Tower, because she never had any formal training in using her witchcraft and knew that Suki would be a better witch if she went to the school.  Suki has know a few other girls that had gone to Cloud Tower and they turned out to be some of the most talented witches that she knew.  She was made fun of for having a lisp when she was little and because of being teased about her speech she doesn't like public speaking,(she has since went to speech therapy to correct her lisp).


Last edited by musa225 on Fri Sep 02, 2016 2:39 am; edited 18 times in total (Reason for editing : added history, added/changed strengths/weaknesses)
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YThu Sep 10, 2015 5:18 am

updated strengths
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Kyra_Xyrespace
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YThu Sep 10, 2015 6:44 am

musa225 wrote:
Telox-A medium spell, A teleportation spell that teleports her up to a half hour away.

Describe in distance.

Quote :
Weaknesses: There needs to be some toxics around her for her to manipulate, has a fear of water and, Public Speaking.

Does the fear paralyze her? Or does it affect her magic?

Quote :
Personality: Suki is a introvert so she is very careful with her words, she always think a before she speaks.  She normally ends up being the peace keeper when an argument happens. Because she likes to keep the peace she doesn't always voice her opinion as often as she should and this can lead to miscomputation. She cares very deeply for her family and friends that she calls family.  This can cloud her judgment if one of them is in trouble. Meeting new people is something that is uncomfortable so she can be a bit of a wall flower at parties.

You mentioned she has confidence in herself in her strengths, yet I don't see that played out here. Also, she's depicted as neutral, yet her personality seems to point her to aligning with good. Are their any qualities from the evil alignment that would be in her personality?
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musa225
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YSat Sep 12, 2015 2:28 pm

Hopefully now fixed, I hope that 15 miles is an appropriate distance.
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zerowing21
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YSat Oct 03, 2015 4:58 am

Could you go more into Suki's childhood in her history?
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Sailor Lily
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YSun Oct 18, 2015 1:38 am

How long does gas shield last or how many hits can gas shield take before it shatters?

Being confident in her abilities is more of a personality trait than a strength. Please change it to something else.

If you list two school subjects as strengths, than you need to have 3 other non-school related strengths.
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musa225
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YThu Nov 19, 2015 6:04 pm

fixed what needed fixed.
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YThu Nov 19, 2015 6:48 pm

Spells:
Tetrodotoxin: However it’s a high level spell, a three minute paralysis is too long. Here is why; if you’re in a fight and able to paralyze an opponent for that long, you can do with the affected target whichever you please for the duration. Reduce to one and a half minute maximum without damage component. (one and a half minute is still a very long time in battle, especially since it basically renders your opponent helpless)

Strenghts and weaknesses:
General: Please give a short descriptor with each strength and weakness how they function and affect your character.

There needs to be some toxics around (…): This will make your character weak in the majority of situations since usually the occurrence of toxins in the environment is low. You might want to reconsider this particular weakness since it is very debilitating and only highly situationally not present.

Personality:
There are several holes that need to be fixed here.

Peacekeeper: How does she approach situations where it’s needed for her to act as a peacekeeper? Also, does she intervene in any conflicts or are there certain affairs she avoids and opposed by that, are there certain situations where she would definitely get involved?

Clouded judgement: What happens if her judgement is clouded and who is most affected by it? Does she become reckless, or does she simply misinterprets things that are being said? Or does she become aggressive even? You also might want to mention when she considers someone to be in trouble.

Meeting new people: I guess this is related to her being an introvert. Nothing wrong with that though you might want to add how exactly it’s uncomfortable. How does she hold up when she meets someone and how does she act in a situation like that? What happens if she is forced to interact with people like for instance, with group projects where she is matched with people she doesn’t know?

General: Your entire personality descriptor only covers the social aspect of her person yet none of your character’s personal likes, tastes or dislikes while these are very important to form a rounded character. It’s impossible to imagine any person who is neutral on every aspect and doesn’t like or hate anything in particular.

History:
The history is the foundation of your character. From base laid in the history the entire character is built so it’s of great importance to have a history that is worked out in some details. Below are several pointers of how you could improve the history.

Siblings/domestic situation: Coming from such a large family there must be some turmoil at certain points or things that happen that affect the family. Which siblings did your character get along with especially well or which one didn’t she get along with? And why?

Drowning incident: How did she end up in this situation?

Peacekeeper: Same as in personality; how did your character approach tumultuous situations and how did she make sure everything got straightened out again?

General activities: Other than getting taught ‘women’s work’ like you’ve mentioned in the history, what other things did your character do in general, what did she like to do or does she like to do, and what activities didn’t/doesn’t she like to do?

Witch: Somehow I can’t feel from what I read in your personality and history that your character does have some tendencies towards being good, rather than showing affinity with evil like most witches do. Why is the choice being made for her to attend cloud tower? (I’m going on a limb here, and presume it’s the mother’s doing who’s a witch.) Does your character meekly comply with this or is there conflict regarding the matter?
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musa225
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YFri Sep 02, 2016 2:13 am

updated the spell, strengths and weaknesses,personality
didnt change any history yet


Last edited by musa225 on Fri Sep 02, 2016 2:36 am; edited 1 time in total
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zerowing21
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YFri Sep 02, 2016 2:18 am

I would still like to know how many hits Gas Shield can take before it breaks.
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zerowing21
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7YFri Sep 02, 2016 2:43 am

What makes her good at being a peace keeper? Experience with her siblings?

As Nikkie said, you might want to reconsider the first weakness you have. Make it something else that isn't so detrimental.

You also didn't go into details in some of the things nikkie wished for in the personality.

Again, please expand on some of the things in the history like nikkie suggested.
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PostSubject: Re: Suki Amnell, witch of poisons   Suki Amnell, witch of poisons - Page 2 Eo1pl7Y

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