Need advice

Charmix Fairy Posts : 138

OK, so all year I have been friends with this girl (I'll go right out and call her by her name). Her name is Hannah. A couple of days ago, I was talking to her. She was considering ditching school, and I said (this is the real quote) 'I don't think you should ditch'. She then demanded to know whether I called her the (OK, bad word ahead, you have been warned) B word

I told her what I really said, but in the middle of my explanation she took off and left. I followed her in a desperate attempt to apologize for something I didn't do, and yet she continued to ignore me. She's done things like this in the past as well, like one time when I forgot to return a pencil to her. I returned it a day later (she had also forgotten). I then remembered I didn't have a pencil so I asked whether I could use it for one period more. I would then return it to her as soon as the period ended. She told me no, called me an idiot, and ignored me for the rest of the class (even though we were partners for the assigned project).

I eventually gave up on her. I told some of my other friends since I was so upset, and they told me horrible things. They said that Hannah controlled me, and always seemed to have a say in what I did and didn't do. Last week I was sick for an entire week. These friends told me that Hannah repeatedly came to my desk and took out things like pencils, notebooks and textbooks and used them herself.

I got incredibly angry, and started realising how badly she's always treated me. Once my rage calmed down, I talked to my Mom about whether I should continue to apologize. My Mom told me to stay away from Hannah, because if Hannah continues to take advantage of my friendship, she's not a good friend, and therefore a waste of time.

I can't help but feel sad when thinking of our friendship, but also extremely angry. Am I wrong in feeling angry? Should I continue to apologize to Hannah until she forgives me, or is my mother right?

Subject: Re: Need advice Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:33 pm

You're friends are pretty much right and to be honest that looks toxic (which also explains your returning). No, You should not apologize and for your sake, it's even better if she ditches the school. Keep away from her, ignore her and don't talk to her at all.
She is playing power games on You and wants to push You around getting attention and care at the same time. Other option is she's literately stupid (or retarded, and no offence to any so called "retarded people" with third chromosome for example) if she can't read voice tone and knows how her friends express her self and with what words...

From what You wrote it really looks as she tries to addict You and take advantage of You, mainly emotional, but as your friends reported also material...

Subject: Re: Need advice Mon Jun 10, 2013 10:49 pm

If it makes you feel better, then go ahead and tell her that "I did not call you *****, I said ditch, with a d," and then leave. If this will make your conscious better, then do so. This is not an apology in any form; this is simple facts that her ears apparently missed.

However, in my personal opinion, I would not be her friend, and I would even tell her why I am ending connections with her. Also, be more careful with your items. No one, even friends, should be allowed to just take without asking (even me and my best friend ask each other or at least leave a little note stating we're using it and then immediately return it).

I would advise that you do not become her friend again. No matter what she does or says, do not. If you do, you will only be sorry. You are not wrong for being angry, because you are hurt that she has treated you the way she has, and you are afraid that she will continue to treat you terribly (anger is not a primary emotion; it is sort of like a defense mechanism for our fears). And yes, your mother is right. 99% of the time mothers are right. Not taking their advise into consideration is a recipe for disaster.

Charmix Fairy Posts : 138

Thank you both for your input. I knew in my gut that I should stay away, but there were times when we had fun. I just kind of miss them. I've gone three whole days without talking to her, deleted her from my email and text, and am feeling good. Thanks again, you really helped me feel better. And I definitely will try what you suggested Kyra Wink

Subject: Re: Need advice Tue Jun 11, 2013 12:07 am

That's good thing and good You did it all. And that's how the toxic relationships work- ups and downs (with more of the later) and emotional attachment to the good. But You really will be better without her, so listen to Yourself and your mom ^^

Charmix Fairy Posts : 138

I told her what Kyra suggested... and she slapped me. I told my Mom and the teacher, but it still kind of shook me up.

Subject: Re: Need advice Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:31 am

Aside from the slapping (she must be really upset to lose a toy....no offense to you, I swear, I am just using the terms of her mindset), how do you feel? It does not matter how she feels, as unsympathetic as that may sound, what matters is how you feel. You owe nothing to anyone except yourself.

So, how do you feel?

Charmix Fairy Posts : 138

I've gotten over it now. Now I know for sure that I'm not missing out on anything. And I'm not offended, your right. I'm nothing more than a toy to her.

Subject: Re: Need advice Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:08 am

I am glad to hear that you are over this situation. Smile

Subject: Re: Need advice Wed Jun 12, 2013 1:52 pm

Dolce e Carino

IM ADDICTED FOR LIFE / NO LIE

your mother and friends are right

and honestly, wether you called her the B thing or not

to me it sounds like she actually is the B thing lol

you wanna make sure to stay away from such type of people

INFINITE

TRUE HEART

HUG & NEVER LET GO

FATE

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