Know Your Stars: Winx Club
Summary: You know that weird skit on All That where this mystery voice tells you a bunch of untrue facts about a star that's sitting on the stage? This is a parody of it. I'm spoofing the Winx Club characters and you get to watch me do it.
Disclaimer : I'm so broke I can't even afford a disclaimer! Oh, and there's a spoiler too.
Fourth Victim: Flora of Linphea
Flora had gotten restless in her dorm room listening to Bloom cry about not dying her hair with orange soda and Stella crying about Brandon. She didn't quite catch the Brandon thing; something about he ran off because of a voice that said she only dated royalty and it not being true. The floral fairy had been walking the halls of Alfea for ten minutes when she came upon a strange room containing a stool on a stage. Intrigued, Flora walked in and got ready to enjoy some peace and quiet. Too bad for her huh?
"Know your stars! Flora from Linphea!" Exclaimed a voice.
"Well, it's also been said I'm from the Fifth moon of Marigold, darn international companies." Flora replied smiling.
"Like I care. Flora of Linphea dyes her hair with beetle guts."
"Now that's not nice," Flora countered, calm as ever, "think of the poor beetles that would have to be killed just so I could dye my hair. No, my hair is natural."
The voice sighs. "Flora makes regular trips to earth to steal flowers from Bloom's mom's flower shop."
"I do not. I grow my own plants."
"She's in denial that she could kill a cactus in three days."
"That's just absurd. I would never kill any plant and I don't steal." Flora's voice is very even and calm.
"Flora keeps flowers in her room to disguise the fact that she has b.o. that could knock over a moose."
Flora sniffs herself and finds that she doesn't smell bad. "You know that's just rude. You shouldn't go around telling people that they smell and steal things just to make conversation."
The voice is confused since Flora was still very cool calm and collected so it tried again. "Flora is a vampire who uses her plant minions to kidnap unsuspecting residents of Magix."
"Plant minions?"
"Yes minions. You use poor innocent plants to perform your wicked deeds."
Flora starts to giggle. "And what wicked deeds would that be?"
"Uh…. Kidnapping stealing you know evil stuff."
"Ah. Nope. Sorry I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Sure ya don't." The voice is nodding, you can't see it, but you can just feel that it's nodding. "Flora is a compulsive liar."
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you are, you see, you just lied."
"Uh, no."
"Uh, yes you did. I heard you."
"You're silly." Flora laughs again. "I don't know who you are, but you crack me up."
"What?" The voice sounded confused. "I've just insulted you for about fifteen minutes or so, how was that amusing?"
"Well, you didn't mean any of it."
"Yes, I did."
"No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did." The voice is beginning to become annoyed with Flora's calmness.
"Now who's the compulsive liar?"
"Still you."
"I think not.
"Flora is in denial."
"No, I'm not I'm in this room."
"Let me finish please."
"Okay, sorry."
"Flora is in denial that she'll have a boyfriend because no one loves her."
"Actually I get a boyfriend in the second season. His name is Helia."
The voice nods and pulls out piece of paper and a pen. "Ah, thank you. I'll remember that in a later chapter."
"No problem. Hey, is this going to be much longer?"
"Flora she is an impatient shrew!" The voice declares.
"No I'm not. But my plants need to be watered."
"Flora of Linphea, she neglects her plants and leaves them to die."
"No, but if I don't leave soon some of my plants might die."
"See, I was right, you do neglect your plants!" The voice is jumping up and down like a maniac and getting mad because Flora isn't getting mad.
"I think you need to take a nap, you sound very cranky."
"Flora, she wants to quit school and become a daycare provider."
"Hmm, that could be fun. But school comes first."
"Then you don't like kids?"
"No, I like kids. But I need to finish school. And speaking of school I need to get back to my dorm, but it was nice talking to you." Flora gets up and leaves.
"And I hope that you get that nap soon since I think you're the one picking on my friends."
"Who me?"
"Yes you! You mean nasty… uh…. Voice!"
The voice sighs dejectedly. "And now you know Flora from Linphea and Fifth moon of Marigold. That was so not fun."
End
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Tue Oct 08, 2024 4:01 am by 
