Zero of Zafarious

Subject: Zero of Zafarious Fri Jul 25, 2014 2:42 pm

First topic message reminder :

Name: Zero
Age: 16
Gender: Male
Creature: Specialists
Race: Zafarious
Power: None
Allegiance: Neutral

Weapon: Crossbow

Strength:

Photographic Memory: Zero is able to recall any event from before his memories where wiped away from him. Other then this he can repeat back any scene from an 1 movie or any lecture in class.

Computer Wiz-Zero is extremly good with computers he can take an entire computer apart and reasemble it back to it's original shape. He can also turn computer parts even broken ones into a new object.

Good With Heights: Zero is extremly good with heights no matter how tall. He was born with natural good climbing talents due to hanging out with his older cousins who where often into wilderness classes.

Weaknesses:
Fire: He doesn't know why but when ever he sees even the tinest flame he goes crazy. He is just afraid of being burned by flames.

Bad Eyesight: Zero has terrible eyesight especially when the sunlight is strong.

Hydrophobia: One afternoon while playing with his sister at the lake he slipped in to the water and almost drowned leaving him with a fear of water for the rest of his life.

Uniform: Zero's uniform is the basic season 1 uniform that the specialists wear. He has the basic blue cape as well as a purple clasp.

Apperance: Zero is a sandy brown haired boy with deep brown eyes. He has fair skin and is very musclar. His height it 6'3 and his weight is 209 lbs. He wears a blue shirt with white stripped lines as well as blue jeans and black square glasses. He also has a pair of sunglasses that he wears on the most sunniest of days. His shoes are red and white and have black laces on them.

Personality: Due to his sibilings betraying during the test Zero has an extreme mistrust of people. He is very studious and loves to learn new things. However, at times when he is in a really good mood every now and again Zero will crack a smile. Even though he can be a loner at times but when he is out with a good friend or someone forces him to go outside after being stuck in the house all day Zero loves to go outside in the fresh air. Zero is also very curious about the world around him especially things that relate to the enviornment. He can also be very shy when he meets new people but over time he opens up to them. If something doesn't go Zero's way he will stand up and fight for what he believe's in. He also can explode easily and misinterprets what some people say. But at the end of the day Zero is a bright and caring person.

Back Story:
Even though Red Fountain was Zero's very last choice in all of the magic schools of Magix his first school choice was actually Zaltora the school for wizards. Born a Wizards and fairy's son magic ran through Zero's family blood. His mother, father, and even sister had the blood of magic inside them...except he was born without magic. This caused a great strain in the family due to the heir of the family must be a first born magic user. So due to his lack of magic Zero's cousin was forced to take his place.

Due to the fact that he was a non-magic user Zero was constantly disregarded and compared to his sister and brother and was often left out. Due to him being left out he was able to focus more on improving his basic survial skills such as hunting, cooking, climbing, and swimming. He even spent plenty of time in the kitchen with his mother creating a little more bonding time between the two.

In a tradition in Zero's city at the age of 14 when a child is ready to attend High School in Zafarious they are able to choose which school they go to...by passing a test created by the Elders of the city. Zero attempted to train with his cousin and sister but they shunned them out of their training sessions leaving him to train alone for 2 months by himself. On testing day he learned that he must work together with his cousin and sister in order to pass the test much to the other two's dismay.

During the test it begins to rain extremly hard as they climb the mountain (which the Elders where very impressed by his climbing skills). As he begins to help the other two on the next ledge a monster appears (not created by the Elders) which catches them off guard. As Zero attempts to draw his sword his cousin steals his sword and his sister pushes him off the ledge. Luckily the bushes from below manage to break Zero's fall however, the elders did not see the betrayal and failed the test. However, before the monster appeared he managed to impress some of the elders with his previous skills such as climbing and his impressive photographic memory so they choose the school of specalists Red Fountain for him to attend.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:10 am

Thanks I already pm loxa to delete it. I plan on using Zero in my Enchanted Club Series.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:25 pm

Quote :: Good With Heights: Zero is extremly good with heights no matter how tall.

How is he good with heights? Explain in the history please.

Also please rewrite the history as you see fitting, as long as it make sense.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Tue Dec 16, 2014 5:09 pm

TheWonderer wrote:: Race: Zafarious

Quote :: An Earth quake hits the city of Tokyo

Is he from Earth or Zafarious since there's actually no mention of this planet until the end of the history and no mention of his birth place was put in the first paragraph? If he is from Zafarious, how did he get to Earth and who took him there? If he's from Earth, then change race to Earth.

Quote :: Personality: Due to his parents giving him up Zero has an extreme dislike of people. However, he is very close with his siblings and only trust them especially since his uncles betrayal. He is very studious and loves to learn new things and even though his element his Earth he hates the outdoors. Due to not having a mother figure in his life he also does not know how to do housework or even do simple tasks such as cooking and relys on his siblings. Even though he can be a shut in a times Zero actually really loves the Earth and animals especially cats.

Does he go out of his way to ignore/avoid people? Will he help people? Does he distrust people? (I'm not asking for change, I'm asking for expansion.)

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Wed Dec 17, 2014 5:40 pm

Updated.
(I am asking for any other RP mod except Kyra to grade).
I need help on the backstory.

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

What exactly do you need help with, it seems very good to me. Sounds like he'll fit right in at Red fountain.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Wed Dec 17, 2014 6:31 pm

TheWonderer wrote:: Weapon:

This still needs to be filled out.

Quote :: Strength:
Good With Heights: Zero is extremly good with heights no matter how tall.

You haven't explained why this is a strength.

Quote :: Personality: Due to his parents giving him up Zero has an extreme dislike of people. However, he is very close with his siblings and only trust them especially since his uncles betrayal. He is very studious and loves to learn new things and even though his element his Earth he hates the outdoors. Due to not having a mother figure in his life he also does not know how to do housework or even do simple tasks such as cooking and relys on his siblings. Even though he can be a shut in a times Zero actually really loves the Earth and animals especially cats.

This still needs expansion.

Also, in the backstory there's no mention of him being given up, which makes the first sentence invalid. Does the tension in his early life cause him to distance himself from people still?

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Wed Dec 17, 2014 9:26 pm

zerowing21 wrote:: What exactly do you need help with, it seems very good to me. Sounds like he'll fit right in at Red fountain.

Ah okay I thought it was a bit weak.

(Kyra please stop grading my RP character I wish for Sarah to take over)

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Wed Dec 17, 2014 9:30 pm

TheWonderer wrote:: (Kyra please stop grading my RP character I wish for Sarah to take over)

I'm sorry but that is not possible. I am an RP mod, and it is my job to look over OCs and critique them.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Wed Dec 17, 2014 10:41 pm

Kyra I am willing to work with you but all I do ask is to have a bit more respect when it comes to my character. Sometimes OC creators treat their ocs like children and it's very hard and hurtful when you tell us to change something you thought was good and it's changes the entire story. I know that you are straightforward and critical when it comes to your evaluations but could you please tone it down a bit? I for one am not very good with "constructive critisim" and your tone is a bit overbearing. I can get very offended very easily. If you can not do this then I ask that you please respect my wishes as I ask another RP mod to grade.

Subject: Re: Zero of Zafarious Wed Dec 17, 2014 11:39 pm

TheWonderer wrote:: Kyra I am willing to work with you but all I do ask is to have a bit more respect when it comes to my character. ....... I know that you are straightforward and critical when it comes to your evaluations but could you please tone it down a bit? I for one am not very good with "constructive critisim" and your tone is a bit overbearing. I can get very offended very easily.

I have been made aware that you are sensitive to criticism, but that will not stop me from critiquing your OC where I see it needs work. I am sorry if you believe I have a tone, but I generally make my responses as toneless as possible, hence why I go for a straightforward approach. I speak straightforward because beating around the bush or sugarcoating does you no good; it just takes longer for me to explain things or to get answers.

Quote :: Sometimes OC creators treat their ocs like children and it's very hard and hurtful when you tell us to change something you thought was good and it's changes the entire story.

At no point in my earlier posts did I say you had to change everything about your OC, which you are falsely accusing me of doing; I was asking questions that you did not answer, or refused to answer. Most of my comments were technical ones, and the other questions pertained to how information. The most I picked out from your history were simple contradictions, which are easy to fix but do not require a full make-over.

Quote :: If you can not do this then I ask that you please respect my wishes as I ask another RP mod to grade.

I am sorry, but you seem to not understand. You cannot tell a mod that they are not allowed to critique/grade your OC; you agreed to having your OC looked over by the RP mods when you posted your OC. Nor can you ignore a mod when they ask you questions about a character or tell you to fix an issue. Doing so shows poor sportsmanship.