Briyana Fairy of Sun

Subject: Briyana Fairy of Sun Tue Nov 26, 2013 5:54 pm

Name: Briyana Noelle Lane
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Height: 5,4
What Creature Are you: Fairy
Ethnicity: Solarian
Race: Solaria
Allegiance: Good
Origins: Magic User
Powers: Sun
Spells:

Sungliht! (medium)
Sun ocean! (medim)
Sun power! (low)
Sun night! (high)
Sun stars! (medium)
Sun Max Power! (high)
Sun! (low)
Sun tide! (medium)

Appearance: She have long,dark brown,curly hair and brown eyes. Her favourite colors are purple, orange, and hot pink.She wears a pink sweater, pink sneakers and gray shorts, usually every day is.
Strengths: Good in English, studious, good friend
Weaknesses: Sport, make a super max powers, be met
Personality: Sweet,shy,good
History: It is a small dream to be a fairy. Her parents say Vanessa and Justin. Transformed to right on 7. No brothers or sisters and often feels lonely. Not able to get acquainted with other people. 16 goes to school in Alfea and new there now.

Picture :

Subject: Re: Briyana Fairy of Sun Wed Nov 27, 2013 12:16 am

xwinxclubx wrote:

Sungliht!
Sun ocean!
Sun power!
Sun night!
Sun stars!
Sun Max Power!
Sun!
Sun tide!

Please provide a description for each of the spells and their level of strength (low, medium, high)

Quote :: Appearance: She have long,dark brown,curly hair and brown eyes. Her favourite colors are purple, orange, and hot pink.

What does she typically wear?

Quote :: Strengths: Good in English and Bulgarian, shy, good friends

Why would her knowing those two languages be beneficial in the magical world? Why is shyness a strength? What do you mean by good friends?

Quote :: Weaknesses: Sport, make a super max powers, school

School is not a weakness; an evil, of course, but not a weakness. Now if she's weak in her classes, then by all means, that is a weakness. But school itself is not.

Quote :: Personality: Sweet,shy,good and more...

What's the more? So far she sounds generic and a dime a dozen.

I'm sorry if I sound rude. That isn't my intent. My intent is to be critical and to help produce a character that can live and breathe in the RP, and not be another generic Mary-Sue or self-insert. If you don't believe my criticalness, you can ask Loxa and Sarah to verify.

Subject: Re: Briyana Fairy of Sun Tue Dec 31, 2013 8:54 am

Kyra_Xyrespace wrote:

xwinxclubx wrote:

Sungliht!
Sun ocean!
Sun power!
Sun night!
Sun stars!
Sun Max Power!
Sun!
Sun tide!

Please provide a description for each of the spells and their level of strength (low, medium, high)

Quote :: Appearance: She have long,dark brown,curly hair and brown eyes. Her favourite colors are purple, orange, and hot pink.

What does she typically wear?

Quote :: Strengths: Good in English and Bulgarian, shy, good friends

Why would her knowing those two languages be beneficial in the magical world? Why is shyness a strength? What do you mean by good friends?

Quote :: Weaknesses: Sport, make a super max powers, school

School is not a weakness; an evil, of course, but not a weakness. Now if she's weak in her classes, then by all means, that is a weakness. But school itself is not.

Quote :: Personality: Sweet,shy,good and more...

What's the more? So far she sounds generic and a dime a dozen.

I'm sorry if I sound rude. That isn't my intent. My intent is to be critical and to help produce a character that can live and breathe in the RP, and not be another generic Mary-Sue or self-insert. If you don't believe my criticalness, you can ask Loxa and Sarah to verify.

I fixed my mistakes? Is there anything else? :?:

Subject: Re: Briyana Fairy of Sun Tue Dec 31, 2013 11:16 am

What do your spells do exactly? Be met? A weakness? Uh.. Is that like you know Shyness and Anxiety or do people hate her and that makes her weak? Her personality needs more stretching to it and so does her history. Just a little bit more stretching. You've got to expand it.

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