Brandy The Fairy Of Fire Sparks Updated

Subject: Brandy The Fairy Of Fire Sparks Updated Sun Sep 07, 2014 7:48 am

First topic message reminder :

name: Brandy/Breanne Fire Flame

age: 18

gender: female

what creature are you: fairy

race: domino

allegiance: Good

origin: magic user

powers: fire sparks

spells:Fire spark It is a big flame of fire that hits her enemies from a long distance range high

fire heal:It heals any of her friends that have been hurt by fire or any strong enemy that hurts them with her friends weaknesses and this is pretty much like princess bloom's fire shield in her enchantix form like the fire shield this spells lasts for at least 6 to 10 minutes medium

fire flame:It is a huge flame that hits her enemies from a long distance like her fire spark attack enemies high

fire shield:This attack protects herself and all dragons and fire creatures around her meaning this could protect evil creatures too which is bad because they can attack her the attack least for 1 to 5 minutes like the fire blast low

fire blast shield:This attack protects everyone around her who is in danger meaning her friends, her parents, her pet dragon that is all she can do with this attack and herself this spell lasts for 6 to 10 minutes medium

fire heat:This attack makes her enemies friends and everything and everyone around her hot and sweated and sticky and it annoys enemies and it gets her attacked making someone save her again this spell ever helps her when she is cooking because it turns on the oven and stove with the wave of her finger this spell least for atleast 1 to 5 minutes low

appearance: red hair red boots red shirt orange skirt this is her human form orange glitter wings and orange skirt and shirt and she keeps the red boots from her human form that is her fairy form her eyes are brown she also has an apron for when she is at work

strengths: she is really good at reading ancient warnings,her fire powers are stronger when she is around hot stuff,She is really good at math like her stepsister bethany,she is very athletic like her friend alina, She is also a very reliable friend in many aspects except for fashion.

weakness:her fire powers are weak when she is near somewhere that is cold and icy,her fire powers are weak by water fairies and ice fairies, her snooby mouth gets her in trouble alot with students, her fire powers are weak when she is near or somewhere that is wet.

personality: she can be bossy,she can complain about everything alot,she can be very very sweet,she can be alittle clumsy when she serves food to people,she can be a good listener when it comes to friends with problems. she can get along with any type of fairy, she doesn't get along with witches that disses her mother, she is not very good in water, she can never eat in a restaurants with a bad review, She can eat in a restaurants with very good reviews like 5 or 4 star dining because she is rich, She can clean her own room without the maids help, She can make delicious food for her family when she needs to.

history:

Brandy was born in a mansion on domino with her family, her mother Nicole her father Rodney and her half sister Bethany.Nicole was the most known actresses in the magix dimension and her father was the guard to the king and queen of domino and he was frozen for awhile. she had pet dragon named bob because it was a gift from her parents as a birthday present she would play with him and take care of him.Her mother would make her food when she was at school but her food wasn't good she would always go to a diner to get the food. Her sister never cared for her and she was always a snobby camera woman for her mother. One day she showed off her waitresses skills to a restaurant the exact same restaurant she works at now as a part time after school job .

Her Mother could careless about her daughters food because she was too busy traveling around the magix dimension for a movie or reality show she was shooting about her life.But she was looking for a job to pay the rent when she lived there she saw a for hire sign on the restaurant window and she get the job to pay the rent at her apartment which was on domino too.Her father however did like her food because she would deliver it to him everyday at home.

One day Brady's boss asked her to takeover the 50 years chefs job because he retired from his job.Which means she get promoted from waitress to one of the chefs there.When she want to the college of domino people know she come from a rich and she was big snobby which really annoyed all the girls at the college she used her fire powers to get in a fight with one of the students who dissed her mother and called her mother a terrible actresses and that person was an evil mermaid witch named Luna who will later be a witch of cloud tower but more about her later.She showed her food to the college when she bring her food from home when people asked who made this because she would always share her friend with her friends and then the girl who she get in a fight with said Hey you should make us food like this everyday guess who that girl was it was her very own sister she was more popular then her because she worked with their mother and then after she show the school food she decided to help the school by making food for everyone in the school.

She met Fran when she was on a vacation when she was working at the restaurant. So She want to alfea to control her fire spark powers. She has a half sister from Earth named Bethany who is now going to alfea she helps with the rent of her apartment on Earth and she visits her half sister's house on the holidays. In the future she wants to become a sous chef after she gets promoted from a chef or maybe the head chef who gives the orders to the other chefs.

Subject: Re: Brandy The Fairy Of Fire Sparks Updated Fri Jul 03, 2015 12:17 am

yukai5 wrote:

firebid1030 wrote:

yukai5 wrote:

firebid1030 wrote:

yukai5 wrote:

Right, lets have another look at it as a whole.

For the history, please explain the following:
- What was her parents reactions to her working as a waitress?
-Why was she sleeping in a café while she has a mansion?
- How did she show her college food?

Spells:

Quote :: Fire spark It is a big flame of fire that hits her enemies from a long distance range pretty much it is like princess bloom's dragon flame attack it wipes out all the enemies in one move this spell lasts for 10 to 20 seconds or the spell has endless like the fire flame depending on how mad she is high

Though it is good (and it was decided that the dragon flame attack is a comparison, not a duplicate), but there is a small snag. There is absolutly no way that it can have a 10~20 seconds range to be used. Once it's used, the spell won't last any longer than the time it takes to hit the target. On top of that, it can't continue to be used till she looses her anger since it can be used once, and it should have a good cool down period because of the strength used.

Quote :: fire flame:It is a big huge flame that hits her enemies into a nice crispy burn making them flee and stuns them for awhile and it's based off of princess bloom's dragon heart attack this spell has endless limits of time because she was raised in a cave high

Problem. Spells like this can't last forever. So a good 15 minute stun should be good for this spell.

Quote :: fire blast shield:This attack protects everyone around her meaning all her friends and all the fairy pets that she and her friends own and her parents and evil creatures again which means they will attack her and hurt her making someone else save her this spell least for 6 to 10 minutes medium

"Her shield can't defend other creatures or fire animals or whatever sort of other animals unless she herself picks one target to shield."
~Loxa

For her personality....

Quote :: her fire powers are stronger

Please remove this since you have it written down twice. Other than that, it's good to go.

Please fix the sheet with these suggestions. It will be worth it when it's done correctly.

ooops i mean a mistake for the first one that was needed to be 10 to 20 minutes not seconds and the other fire powers needed to be that she is hot headed as a strength and yes i will make it a weakness because that might get her in trouble

20mins is still a huge no, so change that to 15mins please. And also, spells do have their limits, and Fire Flame is no exceptions. So please remove that part as well.

oh sorry fire flame is gone and i changed it to fire burst and if you like i can make that attack like alina's bubble burst

I didn't say get rid of the attack, I was meaning to take out the endless limits of the attack since all spells has limits.

oh okay sorry again

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

Quote :: Fire spark It is a big flame of fire that hits her enemies from a long distance range pretty much it is like no other attack it wipes out all the enemies in one move this spell lasts for 15 minutes depending on how mad she is high

Quote :: fire flame:It is a huge flame that hits her enemies from a long distance like her fire spark attack and wipes out all her enemies and this spell lasts for 15 minutes and like her fire spark it depends on how mad she is high

Again, these spells can't last for 15 minutes. And for a comment on Fire Spark: it would destroy an entire planet if it was able to because of it's power strength. Remove the time limit and the spells will be good to go, since they are single attacks, but deals massive damage.

Quote :: ,She is very hot headed when she is around strangers who don't know her

That's a personality trait, not a strength.
"So we accept your strengths and weaknesses, either remove the (She is very hot headed when she is around strangers who don't know her) strength trait AND remove any weakness. Or, exchange (She is very hot headed when she is around strangers who don't know her) with another strength." ~Loxa

Quote :: she has a tiny secret that most people might know about her past,she loves to pick out dresses for her friends

Quote :: she doesn't like it when someone else is in charge,she hates lazy people,she doesn't like cold weather

Quote :: she loves the colors pink and yellow and red, she hates the color black,she loves dragons,she loves snooby girls

Quote :: she loves all fire creatures,she doesn't like water that much but she will learn to like it better in time,great at sports, she loves her sister,not being lazy

Like in your previous OCs, these are likes and dislikes, not personality traits.

Quote :: for the king and queen of domino aka Bloom's birth parents.

Why would she send food to the king and queen?

Quote :: and she get disinherited by her mother

Why was she disinherited because of making food for the cafeteria???

Quote :: her upset until Fran told her about alfea

How does she know Fran?

Subject: Re: Brandy The Fairy Of Fire Sparks Updated Sat Aug 08, 2015 9:57 am

yukai5 wrote:

Quote :: Fire spark It is a big flame of fire that hits her enemies from a long distance range pretty much it is like no other attack it wipes out all the enemies in one move this spell lasts for 15 minutes depending on how mad she is high

Quote :: fire flame:It is a huge flame that hits her enemies from a long distance like her fire spark attack and wipes out all her enemies and this spell lasts for 15 minutes and like her fire spark it depends on how mad she is high

Again, these spells can't last for 15 minutes. And for a comment on Fire Spark: it would destroy an entire planet if it was able to because of it's power strength. Remove the time limit and the spells will be good to go, since they are single attacks, but deals massive damage.

Quote :: ,She is very hot headed when she is around strangers who don't know her

That's a personality trait, not a strength.
"So we accept your strengths and weaknesses, either remove the (She is very hot headed when she is around strangers who don't know her) strength trait AND remove any weakness. Or, exchange (She is very hot headed when she is around strangers who don't know her) with another strength." ~Loxa

Quote :: she has a tiny secret that most people might know about her past,she loves to pick out dresses for her friends

Quote :: she doesn't like it when someone else is in charge,she hates lazy people,she doesn't like cold weather

Quote :: she loves the colors pink and yellow and red, she hates the color black,she loves dragons,she loves snooby girls

Quote :: she loves all fire creatures,she doesn't like water that much but she will learn to like it better in time,great at sports, she loves her sister,not being lazy

Like in your previous OCs, these are likes and dislikes, not personality traits.

Quote :: for the king and queen of domino aka Bloom's birth parents.

Why would she send food to the king and queen?

Quote :: and she get disinherited by her mother

Why was she disinherited because of making food for the cafeteria???

Quote :: her upset until Fran told her about alfea

How does she know Fran?

done and done next feedback please thanks

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

Quote :: fire flame:It is a huge flame that hits her enemies from a long distance like her fire spark attack and wipes out all her enemies and this spell lasts for 15 minutes and like her fire spark it depends on how mad she is high

Firebird, like we said, please remove the time limit. It only lasts the moment it was used. Remove the "15 minutes" else your spell would destroy the entire Winx World! And we don't want that to happen do we?

Quote :: she is not a very reliable with friends when it comes to fashion

Please remove this weakness. It's not a weakness at all. Remove it and both your strengths and weaknesses will be accepted.

Quote :: personality: she is bossy,she whines a lot and ,she is very very sweet finally,she is alittle clumsy when she serves food to people,being a great listener,also being a amazing friend to all of her friends

Please update her personality more. Remember to not add likes and dislikes.

Quote :: After she get in trouble with the principal at the domino college she told her parents and she get disinherited by her mother after finding out she was making food for the cafeteria

Her mother would never disinherit her for such a reason. Please remove the disinheritance from your sheet; it's technically impossible.

Quote :: So She want to alfea and bloom would know her because she was the waitresses she hired for her family because they needed someone to deliver the food because the other workers were too busy with their work to do it.

Please remove that Bloom hired her to deliver food. The royal castle of Domino isn't a restaurant.

Subject: Re: Brandy The Fairy Of Fire Sparks Updated Fri Aug 28, 2015 11:22 pm

yukai5 wrote:

Quote :: fire flame:It is a huge flame that hits her enemies from a long distance like her fire spark attack and wipes out all her enemies and this spell lasts for 15 minutes and like her fire spark it depends on how mad she is high

Firebird, like we said, please remove the time limit. It only lasts the moment it was used. Remove the "15 minutes" else your spell would destroy the entire Winx World! And we don't want that to happen do we?

Quote :: she is not a very reliable with friends when it comes to fashion

Please remove this weakness. It's not a weakness at all. Remove it and both your strengths and weaknesses will be accepted.

Quote :: personality: she is bossy,she whines a lot and ,she is very very sweet finally,she is alittle clumsy when she serves food to people,being a great listener,also being a amazing friend to all of her friends

Please update her personality more. Remember to not add likes and dislikes.

Quote :: After she get in trouble with the principal at the domino college she told her parents and she get disinherited by her mother after finding out she was making food for the cafeteria

Her mother would never disinherit her for such a reason. Please remove the disinheritance from your sheet; it's technically impossible.

Quote :: So She want to alfea and bloom would know her because she was the waitresses she hired for her family because they needed someone to deliver the food because the other workers were too busy with their work to do it.

Please remove that Bloom hired her to deliver food. The royal castle of Domino isn't a restaurant.

done more feedback please give me more

Sirenix Fairy Posts : 5304 Age : 32 Location : New Zealand

Ok, if she became a part of the serving team, then she would've been talent spotted than seeing a for hire sign there. So let me ask you this, how can it be possible for her to be near the palace to see the sign?

Also, remember that Brandy was around the time that Domino froze so don't forget to add that in as well. So Bloom won't know her, plus wasn't even born yet when she was in the palace.

Personality still need to be expanded on. Remember, it's not the place for likes and dislikes.

Subject: Re: Brandy The Fairy Of Fire Sparks Updated Sat Aug 29, 2015 7:29 am

yukai5 wrote:: Ok, if she became a part of the serving team, then she would've been talent spotted than seeing a for hire sign there. So let me ask you this, how can it be possible for her to be near the palace to see the sign?

Also, remember that Brandy was around the time that Domino froze so don't forget to add that in as well. So Bloom won't know her, plus wasn't even born yet when she was in the palace.

Personality still need to be expanded on. Remember, it's not the place for likes and dislikes.

i added more to her personality and i get rid of the part about bloom's parents and all plus i also change the palace to a restaurant which sounds better

Subject: Re: Brandy The Fairy Of Fire Sparks Updated Tue Sep 29, 2015 10:43 pm

Please add two more personality traits. Remember, don't add likes and dislikes in personality.

Subject: Re: Brandy The Fairy Of Fire Sparks Updated Wed Sep 30, 2015 3:55 am

oh okay edited it anything else flamey lol that is my nickname for you flame melody

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

When it comes to strengths, please don't compare her to other ocs. Also I really don't see a bit about her being and all of domino being frozen for 155 years in the history, cuz that's a major part and what not.

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