Naru, fairy of sound

Subject: Naru, fairy of sound Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:48 am

First topic message reminder :

Name: Naru
Age: 16
Gender: Female
What creature are you? Fairy
Ethnicity: Melody
Race: Fairy
Allegiance: Good guys
Origins: Magic user
Power: Sound
Attack Spell: Rainbow Melody (low)
(Rainbow colored sound waves hit enemy and cause fair damage)
Paradise Song (mid)
(fires a series of rainbow sound waves at the enemy; this attack is hard to dodge)
Defense Spell:
Sonic Shield (low)
(Rainbow sound waves form a protective barrier)
Appearance:

Spoiler:

Strengths: Piano Virtuoso Prodigy, excellent at making cute charms or bracelets, is a likable person and thus makes friends very easily.
Weaknesses: Gets lost easily, has trouble playing other musical instruments especially the violin, is a total klutz (as in clumsy)
Personality: She is shy, reticent, but also is a friendly and caring girl. She cries a lot when she gets sad or scared and is freaked out easily. She hates spiders and bee-like insects in general. She likes butterflies and whales though. She likes only classical music.
History:
Naru is a daughter of one of the Muses of the Golden Auditorium. She was raised by her mother. She's trained ever since childhood by her mother in playing piano. The Muses were all very protective of her ever since she was little and prevented as much as possible from being exposed to harm. She can see the rainbow colors of the music. She likes all the other Muses, because they were all nice to her like her mother, and calls them each "Auntie". She wants to become a Muse like her mother and thus decides to go to Alfea to strive towards that goal.

Subject: Re: Naru, fairy of sound Tue Sep 16, 2014 1:26 pm

https://believeinwinx.forumotion.com/t4496-guide-to-making-an-oc In case you haven't read this.. the history needs to be way longer.

Subject: Re: Naru, fairy of sound Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:57 pm

Quote :: (Use half of the user's life force to cause a 75% damage to the enemy. the user may be in a coma for 3 days after this spell.)

Very powerful spell, nurf it down please.

Both her weaknesses and strengths can't be used. Besides, she needs at least 3 weaknesses and strengths.

Her history and personality needs a lot more information.

Subject: Re: Naru, fairy of sound Mon Sep 22, 2014 11:00 pm

Anything else?

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

The personality needs so much more. Three traits will not do and you need to have both positive and negative ones. You also need to add more to the history. Its no flat that we know nothing about the character's past.

Subject: Re: Naru, fairy of sound Wed Sep 24, 2014 10:07 pm

Finished the history and personality. Smile

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

She needs more personalty, shes very flat on that and history needs to be longer.

Subject: Re: Naru, fairy of sound Fri Oct 17, 2014 7:50 pm

shikiryougi wrote:: Ethnicity: Melody
Race: Human
Origins: Human, magic user

If she is not from Earth, then she is not human.

Quote :: Personality: She is shy, reticent, but also is a friendly and caring girl. She cries a lot and is freaked out easily.

Expand on this because she sounds flat.

Quote :: History:
Naru is a daughter of one of the Muses of the Golden Auditorium. She's trained by her mother in playing piano. She can see the rainbow colors of the music. Actually she's not the real Naru, just a artificial biological copy of a deceased Naru her mother created with the help of a fairy from Zenith from a combination of the old Naru's genetic compound and memories to replace that long lost daughter of this Naru's mother.

I'm wary of this history.

Subject: Re: Naru, fairy of sound Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:18 am

Kyra_Xyrespace wrote:

shikiryougi wrote:: Ethnicity: Melody
Race: Human
Origins: Human, magic user

If she is not from Earth, then she is not human.

Quote :: Personality: She is shy, reticent, but also is a friendly and caring girl. She cries a lot and is freaked out easily.

Expand on this because she sounds flat.

Quote :: History:
Naru is a daughter of one of the Muses of the Golden Auditorium. She's trained by her mother in playing piano. She can see the rainbow colors of the music. Actually she's not the real Naru, just a artificial biological copy of a deceased Naru her mother created with the help of a fairy from Zenith from a combination of the old Naru's genetic compound and memories to replace that long lost daughter of this Naru's mother.

I'm wary of this history.

I added more to the personality and edited the OC description a bit, but what's so suspicious regarding the history? Unsure

RP Moderator Posts : 9973

Its the fact she's a clone and its a stretch.

Subject: Re: Naru, fairy of sound Tue Oct 21, 2014 3:25 am

shikiryougi wrote:: .... but what's so suspicious regarding the history?

zerowing21 wrote:: Its the fact she's a clone and its a stretch.

That's basically it. As it is, there's not much to the history, and what there is basically that she's a clone of a person who is no longer around and yet is able to do magic.

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